My neighbor listens to music while he tinkers on his motorcycle; not so loud that I can hear the melody—just the thrumming bass line...boom boom boom. It reminds me of my apartment-dwelling days when my head and heart would pulsate with the pounding rhythm emanating from speakers in the unit upstairs—or so it seemed. While it may speed up with exertion or slow down during sleep, we perceive the human heartbeat as the steady tick-ticking of a metronome. In reality, though, we are energetic beings in constant flux. Your next inhale will replace the air in your lungs right now. Your bloodstream is transporting nutrients to hungry cells. Metabolic by-products are trucked away for elimination. Instead of pumping away mindlessly, a healthy heart continually responds to fluctuations in our body and the environment. Scientists call this our heart rate variability (HRV). Although we cannot detect these minuscule variations-only fractions of a second long-there are devices that offer a glimpse into how our heart is performing. Experiments conducted by researchers at the HeartMath Institute reveal a correlation between our HRV, other bodily functions (such as breathing), mental processes (such as problem-solving) and emotions. Feelings such as anger or frustration, for example, cause the heart to beat in a rigid staccato producing an erratic HRV pattern reminiscent of spiky white-capped waves on a stormy sea. Under the command of a rigid heartbeat, our body strains to function like a an orchestra without a conductor to keep the musicians in sync. One aspect of our nervous system is attempting to surge forward while another aspect is pushing back--similar to driving with the parking brake engaged. Over time, the strain manifests as dis-ease. When we focus on feelings of appreciation or gratitude, however, our HRV waveform smooths out like gentle waves caressing the beach. Other psychophysiological aspects including respiration, blood pressure and brain waves synchronize with the heart in a flowing dance. Our entire being comes into a state of wellness that HeartMath calls coherence. At first it seemed counterintuitive to me that a consistent heart beat length represents disordered functioning. But, just as a flexible tree can bend with the wind instead of break, we are better equipped to deal with challenges when our heart adjusts its rhythm in tune with the circumstances. A high HRV is associated with cardiovascular fitness, clear thinking and resilience to stress. With our nervous system flexing in harmony with the heart, we can perform tasks with ease. The doorways to creative insight and intuition open wide. The HeartMath Institute provides ​instructions for techniques​  such as the Quick Coherence for Adults and the Shift and Shine for Preschoolers on their website. The image below shows how a participant's respiration, HRV and blood pressure changed when they practiced HeartMath's Quick Coherence technique at the 300 second mark. HRV biofeedback devices calculate our HRV so we can get real time feedback while we practice techniques that promote coherence. These devices are widely available for personal use. They monitor our heart rate at the earlobe, wrist, chest or thumb. Studies indicate that HRV biofeedback training helps mitigate symptoms of depression and post-traumatic stress. A study published in ​Frontiers in Physiology​  found that just 5 sessions of HRV biofeedback training helped healthcare workers recover from the stress of caring for COVID patients. Not only does the ability to intentionally raise your HRV improve your own emotional self-regulation, it can enhance your relationships with others through social coherence as described in ​Frontiers in Public Health​ . These positive effects extend to our relationships with animals, too. The graph below illustrates coherence between Ellen and her horse, Tonopah, when she practiced HeartMath's Heart Lock-in technique for 3 minutes. ​Multiple studies​  have assessed the use of HRV as a mental health screening tool. A ​meta analysis​  published in 2023 concluded that HRV is an accurate and cost-effective method to evaluate emotional health. Perhaps someday checking our HRV will become a standard procedure in clinics and hospitals. Note: All the graphs in this article are from the HeartMath Institute's ​ website ​ . HRV Biofeedback Training If you want to give HRV biofeedback training a try, I recommend Inner Balance . I have used my device for over five years. In recent years, HeartMath held a sale around the holidays. Intending for a Peaceful Election in the U.S. Election day is nearly here in the U.S. Regardless of our political persuasion, I believe we all want to see this election go smoothly. This week my Power of Eight intention group held space for a peaceful election. As we sat in collective silence, I could sense others beyond our little group radiating the same desire into the field. If you feel so inclined, I invite you to spend a few moments intending for safe polling stations and timely acceptance of the voting results. Your intention matters. You can learn more about the power of group intentions in the book "The Power of Eight" by Lynne McTaggert. Visit the Community tab on her website to join a Power of Eight group. Never miss a post by subscribing to my free newsletter at IntendWell.US

Autumn was my grandmother’s favorite time of year. She shared this revelation one evening in late summer. We were hiking the hill behind the farm, fingers of the golden hour streaming through the trees on the ridge line above us. At the time I was too young to appreciate autumn's beauty. I preferred the summer months when my mom didn't rush me out of bed in time to catch the school bus. Now that I am the age of my grandmother on that early September hike, I appreciate the wisdom of her words. As snuggly woolen sweaters reemerge from the back of the closet, my senses revel in the crunch of a juicy apple, trees aflame with breathtaking reds and golds, the aromas of cinnamon and nutmeg. I trade my overnight oats with fresh berries for a warm bowl infused with spices, bits of chopped apple and drizzled with maple syrup. It's time to bid farewell to summer produce and embrace the return of the pumpkin! What is a Pumpkin? Pumpkin is a generic term for a variety of squash species in the gourd family, which also includes cucumbers, zucchini and melons. Seasonal decorations feature the common field pumpkin, cucurbitaceae pepo, while canned pumpkin puree is made from cucurbitaceae moschata also known as winter squash. Because it begins life as a fertilized flower, a pumpkin is technically a fruit. Although native to Central and South America, the top five producers of pumpkins are China, India, Russia, Ukraine and the US according to the  Food and Agriculture Organization  of the United Nations. Within the US, Illinois ranks as the top pumpkin producing state. The precise amounts of macronutrients (proteins, carbohydrates and fats) varies depending on the type of pumpkin and where it was grown. Pumpkin and other winter squash really shine from a micronutrient perspective. The bright orange color is a clue to the presence of beneficial antioxidants like beta carotene. Also found in carrots and sweet potatoes, beta carotene protects us from the harmful effects of oxidative stress such as certain cancers, heart disease and cognitive disorders like Alzheimer’s disease. Beta carotene also promotes skin, lung and eye health. The Pulp, The Seeds and The Peel The pulp of cucurbitaceae moschata is rich in vitamin A, vitamin C, vitamin E, as well as manganese, magnesium, and potassium.  Busy cooks may prefer the convenience of canned pumpkin puree, which is 10% protein and 6% heart-healthy unsaturated fat. The carbohydrates in canned pumpkin are primarily fiber and polysaccharides, a form of complex sugar that doesn’t raise blood glucose levels the way that simple sugars do. Be sure to pay attention to the labels as grocery stores stock the pumpkin puree next to cans of heavily sweetened pumpkin pie filling! Use pumpkin puree in chili, casseroles, curries, oatmeal, pancakes or (my favorite) smoothies. Since 1938, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has permitted the cans labeled 100% pumpkin puree to include other types of winter squash such as butternut squash (aka butternut pumpkin in some countries), which offers the same healthful benefits.  Many grocery stores sell butternut squash already peeled and seeded. After cutting into bite-sized pieces, I toss the squash in extra virgin olive oil, season with salt, pepper and cinnamon before roasting at 450 degrees until tender. Then I combine it with risotto and wilted spinach. I always keep raw, organic unsalted pumpkin seeds, or pepitas, on hand to sprinkle over unsweetened plant-based yogurt, oatmeal, salads or grain bowls. Pumpkin seeds are 25% protein and high in potassium, zinc, phosphorus, selenium, fiber and unsaturated fat including essential linoleic acid. Research shows that pumpkin seed oil boosts the effects of anti-inflammatory drugs. Just as with acorn or delicata squash, the peel of smaller pumpkins is edible. Add slices of roasted unpeeled fresh pumpkin to buddha bowls or blend into soup, hummus or salsa. A 2006 study found that pumpkin peel supports the growth of healthful microbes in our gut.  The peel of pumpkins that are too tough to eat is often discarded. Since the peel is particularly high in beta carotene, innovative food developers are using the peel to make pumpkin dog treats, pumpkin "jerky" and combining powdered pumpkin with flour to make noodles and baked goods.  Let Food Be Thy Medicine A 2023 article in  Food Production Process and Nutrition  touts pumpkin as an inexpensive "pharma food" that can help restore the world’s health following the pandemic. In addition to positive effects on blood pressure, blood sugar, cholesterol, and mood, pumpkin strengthens the immune system’s defenses.  What's your favorite way to enjoy pumpkin?  Drop me an email and let me know . References ​ Nutritional Value, Phytochemical Potential, and Therapeutic Benefits of Pumpkin (Cucurbita sp.) ​ ​ Physicochemical, nutritional and functional properties of Cucurbita ​ ​ A review on biochemical constituents of pumpkin and their role as pharma foods; a key strategy to improve health in post COVID 19 period Pumpkin Chili This simple recipe combines pumpkin puree with beans and veggies. Pumpkin Recipes Here's a list of free pumpkin recipes from one of my favorite recipe creators, Nisha Vora. The Story of Leafing The artwork shown above, "Leafing," is from my End in Mind exhibit, a celebration of life in the memento mori style. Learn the story behind this piece and how I created it .

Every year I dutifully visit my primary care physician for my annual check-up. Despite a normal blood pressure and ideal body mass index, my office visit summary always includes the recommendation to “intensify low-fat diet.” What is a low-fat diet? How has decades of low-fat eating affected the health of Americans? What is Fat? What is fat? Just as with protein and carbohydrates (the other two macronutrients in our food), dietary fat plays an important role in nourishing our body. We use the fat we eat to build cell membranes, produce hormones and absorb fat-soluble vitamins as well as generate energy. There are different types of fat. Fatty acids, or fats, are primarily chains of carbon molecules in various configurations. If all the hydrogen receptors on a carbon molecule are occupied, the fat is saturated. Saturated fats are solid at room temperature. Examples include lard, coconut oil, the strip of fat along the edge of a steak or the yellowish globs on raw chicken. Fried and fast foods, processed meat products like sausage, nuts (cashews, macadamia and Brazil), dairy products like cheese and ice cream, as well as processed bakery products tend to be high in saturated fat.  In unsaturated fats some of the hydrogen receptors are unoccupied. If one receptor is empty, the fat is monounsaturated whereas if more than one receptor is available then the fat is polyunsaturated. Unsaturated fats are liquid at room temperature. Plant-based oils such as olive, canola, sunflower, corn, soybean, and flaxseed oils are unsaturated. Food sources of unsaturated fats include nuts (almonds, hazelnuts, pecans, and walnuts), seeds (pumpkin, flax, and sesame), avocados and fish. Trans fatty acids (TFA) are a man-made fat in which the available receptors on an unsaturated fat are artificially populated with hydrogen. TFA was created as a healthy alternative to saturated fat with the same mouth feel and shelf stability. TFA first appeared on supermarket shelves in 1911 when Proctor and Gamble introduced Crisco.  Also known as partially hydrogenated oils, TFA was widely used in processed foods until the FDA announced a ban in 2015 due to research linking it to an increased risk of heart disease. This has been a lengthy process as the FDA had to extend the initial target deadline of 2018 to 2023. Essential Fats Although our body is efficient at converting the nutrients we eat into the substances that it needs to function, there are 2 types of unsaturated fats that our body cannot manufacture. We can only get these essential fatty-acids from our diet. One is alpha-linolenic acid (a type of omega-3 fatty acid), while the other is linoleic acid (a type of omega-6 fatty acid). Walnuts, some legumes, flaxseed, chia seeds, deep sea fish and leafy greens are sources of omega-3’s. Foods rich in omega-6 fatty acids include sunflower seeds, pumpkin seeds, almonds, pecans, pistachios, and legumes.  Omega-6’s are also found in plant-based cooking oils (safflower oil, sunflower oil, corn oil and soybean oil) which are often used in processed foods. So while intentional effort is needed to ensure adequate intake of omega-3, most people consume more than enough omega-6. The Low-Fat Diet Craze The origin of the low-fat diet craze dates to research from the 1940’s that established a correlation between high-fat diets and high-cholesterol levels, which has long been considered a predictor of heart disease. Despite nearly 100 years of low-fat eating, however, Americans are struggling under the weight of an obesity epidemic and heart disease remains the leading cause of death in the U.S. according to a  2024 article  from the American Heart Association. Research by the  Harvard  School of Public Health reports that products marketed as low-fat contain additives that wreck havoc on our metabolism and encourage overeating. It is generally accepted that diets high in fats, especially saturated fats, lead to high cholesterol and cardiovascular issues. Yet, some studies indicate that people appear to  benefit from a diet high in saturated fat . Many adoptees of the carnivore diet report losing weight and feeling great while bingeing on bacon and bun-less cheeseburgers.  In my opinion, we need to consider what a person was eating beforehand. For example, if someone previously ate a lot of sugary processed foods a high-fat, high-protein diet  could  be an improvement—at least temporarily. Although someday researchers may discover that saturated fat is not the culprit, I recommend choosing sources of unsaturated fat until more is known. How Much Fat Do You Need? When it comes to macronutrients, we need a smaller quantity of fat because it is energy-dense with 9 calories per gram compared to 4 calories per gram for protein and carbs. Researchers have observed that rats fed a low-fat diet will eat more food to compensate for the caloric deficit. The Acceptable Macronutrient Distribution Range (AMDR) for fat intake is 30-40% of total energy intake for children age 1-3 years, 25-35% of total energy intake for children age 4-18 years and 20-35% of total energy intake for adults.  Use this  free USDA calculator  to determine your recommended fat intake based on age, gender and activity level. Then choose foods high in unsaturated fat.  Although it is not required, some products (like the chia seeds shown below) list the amount of each type of fat on the nutrition label. Otherwise, for products like the pumpkin seeds shown on the right, you can subtract the amount of saturated fat from total fat to calculate the amount of unsaturated fat. Personally, I break my overnight fast with a concoction of rolled oats, chia seeds and flax seeds soaked in almond milk, combined with pumpkin seeds, almonds, unsweetened plant-based yogurt and fresh fruit. The basic recipe not including the fruit (since that varies depending on what I have on hand) provides 6 grams saturated fat, 45 grams unsaturated fat plus 35 grams protein. As a fermented food, the yogurt provides probiotics to support my gut microbiota.  As a Healing Touch Professional, I believe that there is more to wellness than what we eat so I also pay attention to my thoughts and emotions.  You may be wondering why my doctor believes I need to “intensify low-fat diet.” That, my friend, is a story for another day. My Break Fast Concoction Combine 1/4 C rolled oats, 1/4 C chia seeds and 2 tablespoons flaxseeds. Add 1 1/2 C almond milk. Stir well. Let sit for a few minutes and stir well again. Cover and refrigerate overnight. In the morning, add  fresh fruit, nuts, seeds and a dollop of plant-based yogurt. Never miss a post by subscribing to my free weekly newsletter at IntendWell.US

What images come to mind if I ask you to think of a rose bush? Perhaps blooms of red, pink, yellow or white furled around shadowy depths? Or did you envision prickly thorns concealed by saw-toothed leaves? Perhaps a cloying aroma that tickles the back of your throat? Unless you are a gardener, I doubt you considered the rose bush’s hairy roots stretching through garden soil to lap up the remnants of the latest rain shower. Yet, there is no rose bush without the roots to sustain it. What comes to mind if I ask you to name the predominate emotions circulating in our collective field? Anger ranks high on my list as I have been feeling strong waves of it lately. Since I’m usually sanguine (my friend’s word - not mine), I’ve had to ask myself —where is this anger coming from? Is it mine? You may recall from the issue on emotional contagion that—just like viruses—we can catch emotions from other people. I came to the conclusion that yes—I had contracted a contagious emotion… but it isn’t anger. Anger is merely a thorn. Buried below the surface is the more insidious root—the emotion of fear. Consider the thorny topics generating the most heated debate. If we trace the stems of those prickly barbs to their roots, we find trepidation about our foundational physiological and safety needs according to ​Maslow’s hierarchy​ . Affordable housing is in short supply. Extreme weather events threaten homes and crops. Anywhere people congregate in large groups—schools, grocery stores or concerts—is a viable target for inconceivable violence. As shifting demographics reshape our communities disparate cultures are forced to coexist. In addition, the support systems that sustain us during periods of change have not fully recovered from the isolation of the pandemic or have broken apart over political divides. Of course, we feel fearful. How could we not? Why Anger Feels Preferable to Fear Fear is an uncomfortable emotion. Vibrating at 100 Hz, fear engenders a sense of vulnerability and impotence. It prods our survival instinct with icy fingers. At 150 Hz, anger thaws the helplessness of fear. Anger feels powerful, legitimate — even righteous. It’s a more socially acceptable emotion. Instead of owning our anger, we can point to what “they” said or did as rationale for making  us feel angry. As Dr. David Hawkins points out in his book Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender : “We typically feel so much guilt about anger that we find it necessary to make the object of our anger “wrong” so that we can say our anger is “justified.” Few are the persons who can take responsibility for their anger and just say “I am angry because I am full of angriness.” Although anger might feel better than fear, any chronic low-frequency emotion will take a toll on our health. The energy required to sustain anger depletes our body’s ability to fight infections, eliminate pre-cancerous cells and replenish bones, blood and muscle. Recurrent anger ​damages the cardiovascular system​ . According to Dr. Hawkins, depression, headaches, arthritis, hypertension and lack of physical stamina are some of the dis-eases that can arise from persistent anger. Steps to Dissipate Fear and Anger Trace the anger to its roots . Unearthing the origins of our anger enables us to identify the fear that nourishes it. Sometimes merely facing our fears head-on loosens their hold on us. Through deep introspection, I identified the fears that had ignited my irritability. With its roots exposed, my anger lost its sustenance. Remember that anger is a choice . Shrug off criticisms as unworthy of your time and attention. Recall the words of Eleanor Roosevelt, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” When people disparage my YouTube videos or weirdly-colored hair, I get to decide whether to feel wounded or not. If someone lobs an unkindness in your direction, step aside and allow it roll away. If it persists, consider what you can learn from your anger . Ask yourself why the situation makes you angry. I find it immensely insightful to approach this exploration in writing. It make take several journaling sessions but eventually the “aha!” will happen. Understanding your hot buttons disables them. Anger can be a powerful motivator . When something upsets me, I allow myself a grace period to wallow in my emotions before taking constructive action such as changing my behavior or adjusting my expectations. Withdrawing, retaliating, complaining or trying to change someone else is not constructive action. Clinging to resentment accomplishes nothing except damage to our health. What do you think are the predominate emotions right now and how are you processing them? ​I would love to hear​  your thoughts. Letting Go For a deeper exploration of emotional wellbeing, I highly recommend Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender by David R Hawkins, M.D., Ph.D. Subscribe to my free weekly newsletter and other resources at IntendWell.US

Totally Tempting Tempeh Does concern about your health and the environment have you searching for tasty plant-based sources of protein? If so, allow me to introduce tempeh — a high-fiber protein powerhouse without the saturated fat, antibiotics and environmental contamination associated with animal protein. Tempeh is a fermented soy product available next to the tofu in the refrigerated section of the grocery store. It is made by soaking, hulling, boiling and drying soybeans before adding a bacterial starter. As the beans ferment, they meld together to form a block. An 8-ounce block typically retails for about $5. Nutritional Composition From a macronutrient perspective, nearly half of the calories in a serving of tempeh are from protein. Tempeh is considered a complete protein because it provides all nine of the essential amino acids; these are proteins that the body can only get from food. Possibly out of a fear of not getting enough, many Americans eat more protein than they need. According to the USDA, an active middle-aged man should aim for about 60 grams of protein a day so a single serving of tempeh would provide nearly one-third the recommended amount. Use this free calculator to determine your protein needs. There is no sugar in tempeh. All the carbs are in the form of fiber. One serving of tempeh provides 20% of the recommended daily allowance (RDA) for fiber, which is vital since most Americans consume less than half of the recommended amount. In addition to providing 10% of the RDA for iron, tempeh is an excellent source of calcium, vitamin B12, phosphorus and manganese. While a serving of meat provides slightly more protein than tempeh, animal products also contain saturated fat, agricultural antibiotics and zero fiber--not to mention the environmental impact on natural resources. Health Benefits According to a 2024 article in Science Direct , the nutritional benefits of fermented soy products include lowering cholesterol and blood pressure, improving gut health and cognitive function while avoiding blood glucose spikes. In laboratory tests the compounds in tempeh inhibited cell proliferation in breast, cervical, and ovarian cancer strains. The American Cancer Society recommends soy products since studies associate it with lower incidents or recurrence of breast, lung and prostate cancer. Soy fell out of favor years ago when mice that were fed a diet high in isoflavones developed breast cancer. According to the American Cancer Society, however, these concerns are unfounded as rodents metabolize soy differently from humans and the mice were fed an excessive amount of isoflavones. A meta analysis of three studies published in the journal Circulation in April 2020 concluded “isoflavone intake was inversely associated with coronary heart disease.” This conclusion was based on 4,826,122 person-years of follow-up from these three studies: 74,241 women from the Nurses’ Health Study (NHS; 1984–2012) 94,233 women from the NHSII (1991–2013) 42,226 men from the Health Professionals Follow-Up Study (1986–2012) A 2023 review in the journal Nutrients encourages athletes to consume tempeh to boost athletic performance and recovery. Six of the amino acids in tempeh promote muscle growth while another amino acid, L-arginine, limits fat storage. In addition, the microbes in tempeh have been shown to increase muscle mass in the elderly, promote recovery from fatigue and reduce anxiety. Isoflavones mimic estrogen, which triggered concern that soy could have a feminizing effect on men. A 2020 meta analysis of 38 clinical studies concluded that these concerns were unfounded. Soy isoflavones aren’t for everyone, however. Avoid tempeh if you have an allergy to soy, are taking warfarin (blood thinner) or medication for your thyroid. Although soy appears to have a positive effect on preventing incidents or recurrence of breast cancer, limit your soy intake if you have estrogen-sensitive breast tumors. How to Prepare Tempeh Tempeh is super easy to prepare. Basically, I slice it thinly and sauté in a little oil until golden brown and crispy. Life tofu it has a mild flavor so I toss the cooked tempeh in bowl with barbecue sauce or (if I plan ahead) marinate it in the fridge for a few hours before cooking. Homemade marinades taste best but if you opt for store-bought, check the label for sodium and added sugar. I’ve included links to recipes below. Trying new foods can be intimidating. I get it! It's easier to revert to the same old standbys in the kitchen. But considering that tempeh is inexpensive and simple to prepare, it doesn’t cost you much to try it. And, who knows, you may discover your new favorite protein source. Let me know what you think! Tempeh 101 Free comprehensive guide to preparing tempeh plus links to tasty recipes from my favorite recipe creator, Nisha Vora. You can subscribe to her newsletter here . Tempeh BLT This simple marinade gives tempeh a bacon-y vibe. Never miss a post by subscribing to my FREE weekly newsletter IntendWell.US

Parents Under Pressure On August 28, 2024 the U. S. Department of Health and Human Services released “ Parents Under Pressure: The U.S. Surgeon General Advisory on the Mental Health and Well-Being of Parents .” Child-rearing has never been easy. Concerns about the mental health of parents were on the rise before the escalating anxiety triggered by a worldwide pandemic and the ensuing social and financial fallout. Shockingly, the advisory indicates 41% of parents report that “most days they are so stressed they cannot function.” Consider for a moment the downstream impact that has on the children in their care. As parents we can’t fix the rising cost of childcare, add more hours to the day or guarantee our child’s safety at school but we can refuse to embrace unrealistic societal illusions of what it means to be a good parent. As the reports notes, “Further, a modern practice of time-intensive parenting and contemporary expectations around childhood achievement may contribute further to the stressors faced by parents.” 41% of parents report that “most days they are so stressed they cannot function.” I Was a Slacker Parent My child-rearing days were filled with scouting, dance recitals, camping trips and educational family outings in addition to a full-time career. My son and I joined the local Audubon society for early morning birding walks while my daughter spent a summer on the swim team (we all agreed one was enough) and earned her Gold Award.  But I was a slacker parent compared to other moms. One of my daughter’s friends would roll into scouting meetings late, still wearing her soccer uniform splotched with mud, having just wolfed down dinner in the car. Even before the meeting ended, her mom whisked her home for a shower and three hours of advanced placement homework. When I offered to move the scouting meeting to another evening, I learned that every day was the same whirlwind of activities. One evening at book club I sat between two moms lobbing comparisons back and forth in a spirited game of “she-with-the-most-accomplished-kid-wins.” My head swiveled from one side to the other like a spectator at Wimbledon. “Oh, how sweet your daughter starred in the school play. My daughter was accepted into the dramatic arts program at the magnet school,” bragged one mom. “That’s nice,” replied the other. “My daughter’s basketball team won first place at regionals last month.” And so it went. A Modern Problem Organized activities were not part of my childhood. My brother and I were expected to entertain ourselves. If I complained of boredom, my mom would tell me to clean the bathroom.  In recounting her childhood as the eldest of three girls in a family of eight children, my grandmother shared: “One day when Dad came in for lunch and saw the three of us playing jack rock he said, “If your Ma doesn’t need you in the house, you will go with me to the field.” From that day on I worked in the fields with Dad and the boys. We picked up rocks, shocked wheat, racked and stacked hay, hoed corn, cut weeds and skunk cabbage. It seemed there was a big snake under each cabbage plant.” The Surgeon General's report calls out the drive for childhood achievement as a major stressor for parents but what about the children with overbooked schedules? One of my daughter's teammates begged for a summer off but her mother insisted that swim team would look good on college applications. I don't pretend to have answers nor am I proposing a return to child labor but I wonder whether a childhood packed with extra-curricular commitments leads to a frantic go-go-go routine when we grow up? To what extent does a regimen of adult-supervised activities stifle our imagination and problem-solving capability? When do we master the ability to bounce back from adversity if we are insulated from failure growing up?  “Further, a modern practice of time-intensive parenting and contemporary expectations around childhood achievement may contribute further to the stressors faced by parents.” As an energy healer, I have worked with children as young as six years old overwhelmed by anxiety manifesting as intestinal pain, headaches, bedwetting and sleep disturbances. Somewhere between the athletic, scholastic and cultural activities, children—and parents—would benefit from practicing intentional anxiety management. Otherwise stressed-out children will inevitably grow up to be stressed-out adults anxiously raising the next generation.  Today’s children are the shapers of tomorrow’s society. Dr. Murthy points out that the welfare of children—and those caring for them—affects all Americans.  I’m interested in hearing your thoughts . Not Just for Moms My Calm Moms program teaches stress-reducing techniques so simple that children can learn them. Get your FREE guide . Never miss a post by subscribing to my FREE weekly newsletter .

As the sun disappears into the Pacific Ocean scattering the last rays of the day across the dimpled sea, villagers leave their huts to gather around a fire on the darkening beach. A transgression has occurred that requires everyone’s participation to set right. There is no lawyer to argue the defendant’s innocence, no jury to assess blame, no judge to mete out punishment commensurate with the crime. The tribe’s kahuna will oversee the proceedings and everyone is being called upon to reconcile the dispute in their midst. Before the sun returns equanimity will be restored through an ancient ceremony of atonement and forgiveness—the Ho’oponopono. All Are Forgiven The Ho’oponopono (pronounced hoe-oh-poe-no-poe-no) is rooted in the belief that we are all connected through the collective unconscious. Therefore, when a disagreement arises in a community, reconciliation requires that all members atone for their contribution to the situation no matter how small or unintentional. As each individual acknowledges culpability, radiates unconditional love and expresses gratitude, all are forgiven through osmosis. This perspective represents a paradigm shift for those of us raised in a society that equates justice with assigning blame and calculating retribution. From a quantum physics perspective, however, the energy of my unkind thoughts is bouncing around the collective field—like a ball on the playfield of a pinball machine—wrecking havoc on the psyche of others. It also means that my unkind thoughts did not originate with me but energy that I absorbed from the field or inherited from my ancestors. To the extent that I can transform the energy of unkind thoughts when they bounce into me, I can prevent the spread of hurtful energy to others. The Evolution to a Modern Practice Native Hawaiians practiced the Ho’oponopono for well over 5,000 years but the tradition faded as modern culture subsumed the ancient ways. Then in the 1970’s,  kahuna Morrnah Nalamaku Simeona blended Hawaiian, Christian, and Indian traditions to create the 12-step self-help program  Self I-Dentity through Ho’oponopono  (SITH). She was honored as a "Living Treasure of Hawaii" in 1983. Simeona’s co-teacher and former student, Ihaleakala Hew Len, PhD, applied the process to treating criminally ill inmates at the Hawaii State Hospital in the mid-1980’s. As Dr. Hew Len reviewed each patient’s case file, he identified and released the aspects of himself that perceived illness in the patient—a process that he calls ‘cleaning.’ Although he never counseled any patients directly, all but two of the inmates were cured during the four years Dr. Hew Len worked for the hospital.  Several years later author Joe Vitale contacted Dr. Hew Len after hearing his remarkable story. They began teaching seminars after co-authoring a book in 2007, which led to widespread recognition of the Ho’oponopono. Detractors assert that the story of miraculous healing was a hoax invented to sell books and classes but Dr. Hew Len passed in 2022 so he is not here to offer a cleaning on the rumors.  How to Practice Ho'oponopono Regardless of the story’s validity, the basic Ho’oponopono practice is highly regarded for its healing effects. There are 4 simple statements in the Ho’oponopono mantra: I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you. The phrases may be stated in any sequence. As you recite these sentences, lean into the energy of the feelings they emote. Accept responsibility for the hurtful energy that we pass along from the field or our ancestors. Express regret for contributing to the disharmony in the world. Radiate unconditional love recognizing that—just as one candle is used to light others—we are all enlivened by the same divine life force energy. Appreciate the opportunity to transform hurtful energy thereby healing the world and yourself in the process. Ho’oponopono may be used to rectify a specific situation or as a regular practice. As Dr. Hew Len explained in a 2009 interview, the mantra had become ever present in his mind as he incessantly cleaned each thought and interaction. I would love to hear about your experience with Ho’oponopono. Subscribe Never miss an issue by subscribing to my free weekly newsletter at IntendWell.US

On my way out of the restaurant I snag a wrapped mint from the dish on the hostess stand tucking it into my pocket for later. Even as the weather turns warm and my jacket languishes in my closet for months, when Autumn returns that mint is still in my pocket …still waiting to be eaten. A mint is not the only thing I took home with me that night. Something happened during dinner that pushed one of my hot buttons. But instead of allowing myself to get angry, I shoved my emotion aside refusing to acknowledge it. Einstein taught that energy cannot be created or destroyed — only transformed. The mint will continue to be a mint until I eat it. Even if I toss it into the trash months later, it is still a mint. The same is true of my anger. It takes a lot of energy to deny my feelings. Ironically, that energy binds the emotion to me. As long as I repress it, the anger will continue to languish in a virtual pocket of my biofield. The Only Way Out is Through When I detect blockages in a client’s biofield, they are often repressing emotions that could eventually manifest as physical dis-ease if not cleared. Anger—like shame, guilt, grief and other low vibe emotions—feels unpleasant, which is why I resist acknowledging it. But as an energy healer I understand that the only way to release anger is to own it. As poet Robert Frost wrote, “the only way out is through.” The anger will stay with me until I allow myself to feel it; only then can I let it go. Although attempts have been made, it’s not an easy hypotheses to scientifically substantiate since emotions are intangible and the physical damage develops slowly over decades. Plus, participants may not be able to accurately report their emotions if consciously unaware of feelings that they have squirreled away like a stale mint in a dark musty pocket. More Than Genes and Toxins In his book, “When the Body Says No,” physician Gabor Maté offers convincing evidence of the link between repressed emotions and conditions such as autoimmune diseases, cancer, digestive ailments and diabetes. While Maté recognizes that genetics and toxins (like nicotine) play a role, not everyone with a BRAC mutation or cigarette habit will develop cancer. There must be other variables in the equation. He painstakingly detangles the emotional lives of his patients through introspective conversations--as well as interviews with family members--unearthing deeply buried wounds from familial dysfunction and childhood trauma. Critics of Maté’s work accuse him of blaming his patients for their illnesses but I disagree. Maté is issuing a call to action for the medical community and the general public. How can we hold people to account for suppressed emotions in a society that insists boys don’t cry and good girls are always nice? He cautions, “When we have been prevented from learning how to say no, our bodies may end up saying it for us.” Allowing ourselves to feel our anger does not mean storming about, shouting and smashing the china. Instead, Maté advises transforming anger through validating the legitimacy of our emotions, exploring our emotional patterns and asserting healthy boundaries. “When we have been prevented from learning how to say no, our bodies may end up saying it for us.” Whole Person Healing During my annual wellness exam, all the emphasis is on the health of my physical body. My doctor relies on a scale, stethoscope, sphygmomanometer and blood tests but lacks a device to objectively assess my emotional state. Years ago my friend, Bill, went to his physician complaining of chest pain. Nitroglycerin was prescribed. A cardiac stress test was performed but no issues were found. "Call me if the pain gets worse," his doctor told Bill. If he had only asked, the doctor may have discovered that Bill's mother had just died. Grief hurts. Eventually, Bill moved through his grief and the chest pain went away. During a particularly stressful period in my 40's I developed pain and stiffness in my right hip. After reviewing the MRI results the orthopedic surgeon told me, "Good news! Your hip is fine." When I tartly informed him that I did not feel "fine" he offered to increase my pain meds. As my stress lessened I regained full range of motion in my hip. It’s past time to acknowledge that authentic wellness requires caring for the whole person as opposed to treating distinct components such as a tumor or an ulcer. Our physical, mental and emotional selves are so tightly intertwined that directing healing toward just one aspect is like staring at Mona Lisa’s hands while ignoring her smile. Join me again next week as we delve into more energetic self-care techniques you can use to release stuck emotions. Never miss a post by subscribing to my free newsletter at IntendWell.US .

When Your Emotions Are Not Your Own Like viruses, emotions are contagious. Whether in-person or online, between two people or a crowd of thousands, the emotions of one person can infect others. Known as emotional contagion the affect can be inspiring or destructive. When my daughter and I attended a talk by His Holiness the Dalai Lama, a quietude descended over the audience as he emanated a palpable serenity to the far reaches of the arena. On the other hand, shared resentment can become so overwhelming that people engage in uncharacteristic behavior — such as when peaceful protesters erupt into a violent mob.  Emotional Contagion Even before we have the ability to speak, emotional contagion influences relationships that are key to our survival. Studies have shown that when a mother feels anxious her infant exhibits the physiological symptoms of stress. By our first birthday we adapt our behavior based on social cues; if mom is in a foul mood, babies respond with wariness. As we mature, this subconscious emotional sensitivity allows us to connect with a mate and the other members of our tribe.  The downside of emotional contagion is when we cannot distinguish our authentic emotions from negativity that we absorbed from someone else. We may find ourselves sad or angry for no apparent reason leaving us clueless how to resolve our feelings. The Emotional Contagion Scale (ECS) measures our predisposition to catching five emotions from others: sadness, fear, anger, happiness and love. According to the ECS, you may be more susceptible to emotional contagion if you tend to cry at sad movies, tense up when you overhear other people arguing or forget your troubles in the presence of a happy person. Filtering Out Contagion In Healing Touch training I learned to ground myself before every session. When I attune with a client the energy of their emotions seeps into my field. Once when working with a client hospitalized with a life-threatening condition, I detected a pervasive sense of dread. Grounding enables me to release these sensations as they arise. At the conclusion of every session I disconnect from the client before cleansing my field of any residual energy still clinging to me. While empaths are particularly susceptible to the emotions of others, everyone should know how to clear their field. The technique that I have adopted involves filtering out contagion with a virtual net. Begin by lifting your arms above your head and spread your fingers wide. Imagine a net stretched between the fingers of each hand. With fingertips pointed toward you, slowly draw your arms down both sides of your body while repeating to yourself, “I release anything that is not mine.” Intend for your imaginary net to trap any extraneous emotions that don’t belong to you. When your hands reach your knees sweep them outward away from you and shake them off. Repeat two more times or until your field feels clear. Practice this technique periodically in addition to when your emotions feel out of alignment. A Pathway to Healing Sensitivity to the emotions of others is a valuable social skill as it enables us to forge energetic bonds with the people in our lives. At the same time we want to shield ourselves from emotional burdens that are not ours to carry. When it comes to managing anxiety, we want to distinguish between stress that provides personal insights versus stress that we inadvertently picked up from someone else.  While we cannot escape exposure to the animosity and fear broadcast by news outlets and social media platforms, we can practice energetic hygiene by expelling energy that is not ours. The beauty of emotional contagion is that we can raise the vibrations of others when we radiate our inner joy. We can tap into our inherent ability to spread healing by emanating our own wellbeing. References Emotional Contagion: A Brief Overview and Future Directions Frontiers in Psychology, July 2021 Stress Contagion: Physiological Covariation Between Mothers and Infants Psychological Science, Jan 2014 The Emotional Contagion Scale: How susceptible are you to catching a bad case of emotions? Psychology Today, Oct 2012 Shield Yourself Watch this video to earn how to create an energetic shield to protect you from unhealthy emotions radiating from others. Energy Cleansing In this meditation we shake off the emotional debris and reset our perspective.  Spread Healing In this metta, or loving kindness, meditation we radiate healing to ourselves and others.  Subscribe Subscribe to my FREE newsletter to receive articles like this delivered straight to your inbox every Friday.

How Perception Works As I sit across the table from my friend Janet, my attention shifts rapidly from her face to the pattern in her shirt, from the painting on the wall behind her to the floral arrangement on the table and back to Janet’s face. Although it seems that I am seeing all these things simultaneously, that is an illusion created by my brain. Objective viewing requires more neural processing power than we possess. My darting eyes are moving three times every second. With each shift of my focus, I clearly see about 1% of my surroundings while my brain fills in the missing bits much like the Content-Aware Fill feature in Photoshop, which replaces a distracting element (such as a stalk of seagrass) with information sampled from nearby pixels. My brain relies on what it just saw plus assumptions based on past experiences to fabricate a complete image of my surroundings. With my eyes focused on Janet’s face, for example, my brain continues to show me that there are flowers on the table and a painting above her head because it remembers seeing those objects earlier. This fill-in-the-blank capability is one way our brain compensates for the blindspot resulting from a lack of photoreceptors where the optic nerve connects to the retina. There are drawbacks, though. We can overlook or imagine objects depending on what our brain expects to see. Since our brain can't pay attention to everything, it prioritizes incoming data using selection criteria that scientists are still decoding. Researchers estimate that as much as 90% of the data collected by our eyes is not processed by the brain. Inattentional blindness refers to our ability to look right at something (like an approaching vehicle) and not register its presence. Our Mood Affects How We See How we are feeling emotionally affects how we see our surroundings. Distances appear farther and hills seem steeper when we are fatigued. In a relaxed state our eyes are continually scanning the scene around us while stress constrains our field of view and heightens our eyes' sensitivity to high contrast objects. Although Janet and I are dining together at the same table, engaged in mutual conversation, we are each having a different personal experience based on our respective focus, assumptions and mood. Our Window to the World The mechanics of eyesight are a metaphor for how we view the world. In the context of a current event there are too many details to absorb so we choose where to place our focus and extrapolate meaning based on our beliefs, emotions and past experiences. We fill our blind spots with our best guess as to what belongs there. Information that doesn’t fit with our interpretation is subconsciously ignored like an errant puzzle piece. When we feel safe we tend to adopt an expansive view. We are more discerning and better able to consider an issue from various angles. Anxiety or sadness narrow our focus bringing to mind the expression “can’t see the forest for the trees.” When fear predominates we will see evidence of threats everywhere while ignoring signs that our insecurity is misguided. We Create Our Own Reality Our tendency toward misperception is not a character flaw to overcome; it is simply how we make meaning of a complicated world of overwhelming input. Accepting that we are the architects of our reality frees us to choose where to direct our focus. We can ask ourselves how emotions may be shaping our perception. Are we too focused on the details of just one tree? When we accept the malleability of our perceptions, it empowers us to pursue solutions instead of dwelling on problems. We can move forward from a place of inspiration instead of fear, trading victimhood for the understanding that we are indeed the masters of our reality. Seeing Clearly We clearly see about 1% of the scene in front of us. Continually shifting our focus enables us to collect the data we need to envision the full scene. Watch Video Demonstration Mind the Blindspot Try this mind-blowing exercise that reveals how our brain compensates for our blindspot due to lack of photoreceptors where the optic nerve connects to the retina. Try it! Subscribe to my FREE resources at IntendWell.US

The Color of Grief What color comes to mind when you think of grief? For me, it used to be black although lacking black attire in my childhood I wore dark green to my grandparents’ funerals. But when I was working on the piece “Mrs. Worthington’s Grief” shown above, black was not sufficient to convey the intense emotions she must have experienced following the death of her son. As I soon discovered, although black is widely accepted many cultures prefer white or purple for mourning. Just about every color shows up somewhere; for example, red is popular in South Africa.  Mourning Traditions Vary Considering the universality of death, I find the diverse rituals with which we humans acknowledge it intriguing. In my experience, funerals are solemn affairs of soft murmurs with occasional muffled sniffs and swipes at tear-tracked cheeks. Crying is understandable—up to a point. I have attended funerals where the family is sequestered behind a screen ostensibly so they can weep with abandon while we rest of us are spared the embarrassment of watching. Some Buddhist traditions discourage crying out of fear it will disturb the spirit of the departed. At the opposite end of the spectrum, the whole village joined in collective keening at Irish wakes until the church declared the practice unseemly in the 1950’s. At an African-American home going ceremony, sadness intermingles with a joyful celebration of life. In New Orleans mourners dance to the cemetery accompanied by a brassy jazz band. Unexpressed Grief is Toxic Whatever rituals are followed it is important to process the grief and associated emotions. In his book “Letting Go,” Dr. David Hawkins advises “Suppressed grief is responsible for many psychosomatic conditions and health-related complaints. Instead of suppressing the feeling, if it is allowed to come up and be relinquished, we can quickly jump from grief to acceptance.” Grief counselor Ann Allen has worked with clients who tried unsuccessfully to move on too quickly because friends or family felt that they had grieved long enough. Celebrity therapist Dr. Laura Berman believes that the pain of unexpressed grief becomes stuck in our bodies. Because she didn’t take time to fully grieve following her mother’s death from breast cancer, Dr. Berman developed breast cancer in the same location a year later. My experience as a healer reaffirms the importance of releasing stuck emotions. Regardless of the dis-ease—joint deteriorations, cancer, obesity, or autoimmune disease—my clients were carrying bottled-up emotions long before the physical ailments appeared. While grief is typically associated with death, all major life changes bring an element of mourning. Whether moving out on our own, starting a family, or changing jobs we abandon a piece of our past identity as we move forward into a new one.  The best techniques for releasing emotions are the ones that feel right for you. Keening like the Irish is immensely cleansing from an energy medicine perspective. Dr. Hawkins advises that grief will run its course in 20 minutes if we fully surrender to it. Although the emotions may return periodically, the episodes will dwindle over time. Dr. Berman found solace at a secluded cabin following the death of her son. My “Calm Moms” guide includes The Blowout technique, which is effective for quickly dispelling pent-up energy.  I would love to hear about your experiences processing grief. Drop me an email. How to Talk About Grief In her new book my friend and Certified Grief Specialist, Ann Allen, shares how to help yourself or a loved one process grief in her book "Talking Grief." Learn the #1 thing not to say to a person in mourning. Buy the book (not an affiliate link) Calm Moms My "Calm Moms" guide includes techniques like The Blowout that anyone can use to relieve pent-up emotions. Get your FREE copy . If you could ask a health coach anything, what would it be? Drop me an email and let me know. Perhaps I will answer your question in a future blog. Thanks for reading.

The Kingdom in Your Gut With one hand resting on your tummy imagine for a moment the trillions of microscopic organisms, or microbes, residing in your gut. Just as these microbes rely on us for a welcoming place to live, we rely on them for digestive support and immune system functioning. Their health supports our health and vice versa. In 2012 the University of California San Diego launched the American Gut Project (AGP), which has collected thousands of microbe samples from volunteers in over 40 countries. Although AGP detected over 467 million different species in the fecal samples, scientists believe the actual number of gut microbes is higher as some strains cannot survive outside the human body long enough to be identified. Your particular microbic community is as unique as your fingerprint yet constantly in flux depending on your diet, medications, environmental factors, age and emotions. A wide diversity of microbial species in our gut correlates with better health. Analysis of the AGP data revealed that gut biodiversity varies by geography, diet and lifestyle factors such as stress management, exercise and time in nature. In general, people in the UK have a more diverse gut microbiome than people from the US. People diagnosed with depression have similar microbiota regardless of where they live while people who consume a wide variety of fruits and vegetables have the most robust and diverse gut microbiomes. A wide diversity of microbial species in our gut correlates with better health. Your mother provided your first colony of microbes when you were born. We also collect microbes from soil, pets, and other people. Fermented foods such as yogurt, sauerkraut, kimchi, miso, kombucha, pickles and tempeh provide probiotics. It is important to check the labels to ensure that the product you are consuming contains live cultures. Researchers have developed a process to transfer bacteria from a healthy donor to patients with a compromised gut. Earlier this year the American Gastroenterological Association issued a recommendation for fecal microbiota transplant (FMT) for patients with recurrent Clostridioides difficile (C. diff ) infections that do not respond to standard treatment. More research is needed before FMT is recommended for other digestive ailments. Do You Need a Probiotic Supplement? Probiotics are one of three types of bacteria living in our digestive system (the other two are commensals and pathobionts). Growing awareness of gut health is feeding demand for over-the-counter (OTC) probiotic supplements. Estimates vary but the global probiotic market may be worth $71 billion in 2024 and is projected to grow 8% over the next five years. While there is widespread perception that probiotic supplements support gut health, a 2019 meta-analysis in MicrobiologyOpen noted that there is no long-term clinical evidence to support this notion. To be effective, probiotic bacteria must be alive when ingested. Of the plethora of probiotic species, only a subset can survive the heat and pressure inherent in the manufacturing process as well as the journey to store shelves in commercial trailers. The supplements industry is loosely regulated so some products may contain less live bacteria than advertised or include microorganisms not listed on the label. While OTC probiotic supplements appear to be effective for preventing conditions such as antibiotic-related or traveler’s diarrhea, constipation, irritable bowel syndrome or vaginitis, success depends on ingesting the specific strain known to be susceptible to these conditions. The Alliance for Education on Probiotics (AEProbio) maintains a clinical guide to OTC brands for specific health concerns. Probiotics are not benign. Some people experience gas and bloating from probiotics although manufactures advise that the symptoms will resolve over time. People with pancreatitis, recent surgery or suppressed immune systems are advised to avoid taking probiotic supplements. If taking an antibiotic, wait at least two hours before taking a probiotic supplement. Pro biotics Need Prebiotics to Survive The continued survival of probiotic colonies relies on our ingestion of prebiotics; in other words, we have to eat when they eat or they will starve. Prebiotic foods contain a type of carbohydrate that we cannot digest, which enables it to withstand the acidic juices in the stomach and reach the probiotics living in our intestines. Prebiotic foods are typically high in fiber. Examples include raw leafy green vegetables, asparagus, onions, garlic, leeks, raw fruits, oats, barley, nuts, seeds and legumes. Proceed slowly when introducing high-fiber foods into your diet so your digestive system can adjust. Do You Need a Probiotics Supplement? In certain situations such as an antibiotic regime or excessive stress, probiotic supplements may give our gut a boost. But considering that only a subset of probiotic species can be bottled, most of the time we can rely on fermented foods plus a wide variety of fruits and vegetables to provide the probiotics and prebiotics that our gut microbiome needs to thrive. Based on the AGP analysis, experts recommend consuming 30 or more types of fruits and vegetables each week. If you take OTC probiotic supplements on a regular basis, I would love to hear about your experience. Drop me an email. You Are Your Microbes AGP scientist Rob Knight explains why “The three pounds of microbes that you carry around with you might be more important than every single gene you carry around in your genome.” Join the Research There is still so much to discover about the gut microbiome and its effect on our overall health. The AGP is now the Microsetta Initiative. You can contribute your microbes to the database. Never miss a post by subscribing to my free weekly newsletter at IntendWell.US . REFERENCES Are probiotics actually beneficial? Advanced Science News, Oct 2023 https://www.advancedsciencenews.com/are-probiotics-actually-beneficial/ Clinical Guide to Probiotic Products Available in the US https://usprobioticguide.com/?utm_source=intro_pg&utm_medium=civ&utm_campaign=USA_CHART Role of Probiotics in Human Health Cureus Nov 2022 https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9733784/ An examination of data from the American Gut Project reveals that the dominance of the genus Bifidobacterium is associated with the diversity and robustness of the gut microbiota Microbiologyopen Sept 2019 https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6925156/ Probiotics Market by Product Type Markets and Markets, Mar 2024 https://www.marketsandmarkets.com/Market-Reports/probiotics-market-69.html AGA now recommends fecal microbiota transplant for the majority of recurrent C. diff patients AGA website, Feb 2024 https://gastro.org/press-releases/aga-recommends-fecal-transplant-for-recurrent-cdiff-patients/